I told you earlier this week about the Web site Going Gray and Looking Great. I was intrigued and thought you might be, too, so I contacted founder Diana Lewis Jewell and asked her a few of the questions that were on my mind.
Diana, “the guru of gray hair,” is the author of the book Going Gray, Looking Great! The Modern Woman’s Guide to Unfading Glory, and six other books. She started the Web site in early 2008, and dedicated it to all women even thinking about going gray. The Web site has fostered a strong community of visitors from 80 countries. Diana also is the former marketing director for Vogue and the promotion director for Seventeen. Here is our Q & A:
Q. You have said that multiple generations are embracing "authenticity," and that it has to do with more than just "a simple decision to stop coloring." What do you mean by that?
A. We come right after the generation that felt if they only had one life to live, they should live it as a blonde. The whole haircoloring industry took off in the '50's, so our mothers or grandmothers jumped on the color bandwagon as the key to looking more youthful. At www.goinggraylookinggreat.com, we're seeing that women in their late 30's to late 40's are now deciding on a different approach to beauty. So these are both Boomers and GenX'ers. That's why it's multigenerational. And the decision to go gray is equally multi-dynamic. A lot goes on in a woman's head when she does this. I've had women tell me they wake up one morning and say, "That's it. I'm done with color, and I'm going gray." But the motivation behind it may have been building for a while. I did a Member's survey that revealed the top five reasons women make this decision. The top two reasons selected as “most important” were authenticity and freedom, cited by 62% of respondents. Health/condition of hair was the top choice for 18%. And expense? Only 9% of the women surveyed indicated that as the #1 factor influencing their decision, roughly the same number who listed allergies (8%).
Q. What's going on that makes this a good time for women to be able to more comfortably choose to go gray?
A. Obviously, we have the whole "green" movement. Women are becoming more and more suspect of chemicals, in the foods they eat, the makeup they wear, and the products they choose for their hair. Not only are they concerned about what it does to them physically, they are aware of environmental impact as well. But I also think the Boomer generation has always been about "doing your own thing." These are the role models and the leaders who actually began this trend, very quietly, ten years ago. Long before there was a book or a website on the subject. And they succeeded, in business, in politics, in the fields of journalism and entertainment, and as models. We have a section on the website called Great Inspirations, and you look at these women and think -- if they can do it, so can I!
Q. What are the most common reasons you hear for a woman deciding to go gray? Or to NOT go gray?
A. I've discussed the reasons for deciding to go gray. The reasons women decide not to gray are as varied. Some women simply love to color, always will. They feel they look better without gray hair. Period. You can't convince them, and honestly, we don't try. Every woman has to be comfortable with her own beauty, and if coloring works for her, it works. But the women who come to goinggraylookinggreat.com are at least wondering "what if?" Then they browse through the pages and see women, just like themselves, who honestly look younger and more attractive once they let their natural color come in. Fear is, of course, a major reason not to change. I have a chat called "What Are You Afraid Of?" and women are afraid they may no longer be attractive to their husbands, their careers may be in jeopardy, their friends and family won't support them, or they'll be accused of "letting themselves go." They're also afraid of the transitioning process. I hear so many times "Oh, if only there were a magic pill we could take to make this go quickly." Well, I wish there were too, but there's not. You have to stop coloring. You have to go through it, but it doesn't have to take a long time. So at the site, we provide lots of support and information, and a whole community of women who actually have become friends as they chat back and forth with each other, encouraging every new haircut, every new inch of silver that comes in. It's like a silver support group, but at the same time, the site provides other information on how to care for and style your hair, change your makeup or wardrobe, how to be comfortable with the whole evolution. Because that's really what it is. These women find that having the courage to go gray changes them in other ways too. It engenders a wonderful new confidence, and a new level of satisfaction with who they really are.
Q. Was there a specific trigger for your own decision to go gray? What has been the most difficult aspect of going gray, for you?
A. The trigger was writing my book, Going Gray, Looking Great! I had no intention of going gray when I was approached to write it. I was a happy single-process-with-highlights blond, and I told the publisher I intended to stay that way. My thinking was people can write murder mysteries without being a murderer, why couldn't I write about going gray without actually doing it? That changed after my very first focus group. I looked around the room and saw so many attractive shades of silver, and yes, there are shades - gray is a color! - that I began to be curious. I started skipping color appointments. Pretty soon, I had a good 3-4 inches of grow-out, and I never looked back. Transitioning was not difficult in the least for me. I was excited about it. I couldn't wait to see how white or gray or pewter or charcoal my hair would become.
Q. Women talk on your site about going gray. What do they say about how it changes beauty routines and lifestyle?
A. We advise that it should change your beauty routine. At the very least, you should start to pay more attention to skincare. Some women find that they look washed out, or their skin looks duller. Those are the two major complaints. Well, sometimes, it's your skin! You've got to get that glow going again, so you may exfoliate a little more, moisturize a little more. As far as cosmetics go, yes, your color palette may change. Hair acts as a frame for your face. If it's suddenly white instead of dark brunette, you may think your skin tone has changed, when actually you are seeing your true skin tone for the first time. So you can adjust your makeup strategy a little. All of this is covered in both the book and the site; there is not one "rule" that covers it. Women who automatically switch to a pink/blue palette, for instance, could go very wrong, particularly if there are any sallow undertones to their skin. So you adjust, but you don't turn into Snow White. As far as lifestyle changes, the one thing that everybody says is that it gives them back their freedom. No more long hours in the salon. No more worrying if their roots will show when the wind blows. No more scheduling their lives, holidays, or vacations around touch-up time. And that's a very good thing!
